Tattoos

So at my appointment last week at Princess Margaret Hospital it was decided that nothing different should be done for my radiation. Today I had my appointment with the radiologist at Grand River Hospital and I received my first ever tattoos!! Five small "freckles" to act as markers for the radiation. First they position you and make a mold so that each time you come you stay in the same position. Then they use the CT scanner to determine where they will put the markers. Then they use a black indie ink to tattoo you. It does hurt a little because of the needle but not for long. I can't imagine getting a sleeve tattoo...way too painful!
Radiation hopefully will start next week. Today one of the four radiation machines broke and they are not sure how long it will take to get the part so we will see.

Without faith... nothing is possible. With it... nothing is
impossible.

     -- Mary McLeod Bethune

Last Self-injection!

Well I am all done chemo and have my last self-injection tonight! I am so happy to be finished chemo...no more toxic chemicals being injected into me to kill off any cancer cells. Seems rather barbaric to inject toxic chemicals into a body and hope the body survives but I guess it is the best we have yet.
I have an appointment with an oncology surgeon at Princess Margaret Hospital on the 20th. He will decide what, if anything, we will do about the other side that may have had cancer. This will determine if I need radiation on both sides or not. I also managed to get an appointment at Women's College Hospital on the same day (save an extra trip to TO) for the genetic study. It will be a busy day but I will be glad to get it over with.
Thank you to everyone for your continued prayers and support. You are awesome!

We must shift our interest from the seen to the unseen. For the
great unseen Reality is God.
     -- A.W. Tozer

Last Chemo Wednesday!

Yes, my last chemo is Wednesday and I get to ring the bell!! I can hardly believe it. After 8 more self injections at home I will officially be needle free for awhile and my body is going to be thanking me for that.
This paclitaxel has a cumulative effect which is catching up with me. I am tired and 4-5 days after treatment you feel like you have been run over by a Mac truck. I have slept a few days all day. Yes everyone leaves in the morning and I go back to sleep and they come home and I am still in bed!! It doesn't help that my hemoglobin is low again...I kinda slacked off after getting it up the time before by eating a lot of red meat. These last 2 weeks I think I have had red meat everyday with help from David! Tomorrow I will find out what my level is.
So just to add a twist to everything my oncologist whom I saw yesterday has now decided that something needs to be done with the CT scan (done in August) that showed an enlarged lymph node. The MRI was negative but was also done after 4 chemos were completed. Dr. M. is not sure what to do so she is thinking of sending me to an oncology surgeon at Princess Margaret to have him decide . This needs to done in December if possible before radiation starts!! I never realized before how much cancer is NOT an exact science but I am learning.

If I didn't have spiritual faith, I would be a pessimist. But
I'm an optimist. I've read the last page in the Bible. It's all
going to turn out all right.
     -- Billy Graham

Only 2 chemo left!!

So today I am "normal". Normal in the sense that I have not had chemo for 13 days and I have not had to inject myself today and I feel better. Not "normal" in the sense that I can't just go out and run but I can function pretty well. The feet and hands are starting to feel the cumulative effects of the paclitaxel, so much for the ice mitts and elevation.. but I will keep trying them! All my hair has not fallen out and I still have most of my eyebrows and eyelashes and I plan on keeping it that way. Funny thing with this chemo, you're not scheduled for your next round until you feel almost better. Good thing because I would not go back feeling how I do after it, never. But by the time the next round comes your mind tricks you into thinking it wasn't that bad (yes your mind does play mind games and it is a good thing!). I have been counting down since the beginning so after tomorrow I will only have 1 left, I can hardly wait!

If God were small enough to be understood, He would not be big
enough to be worshiped.
     -- Evelyn Underhill

New Chemo

So I had the new chemo (paclitaxel) almost 2 weeks ago. This one is much better with the side effects. Almost no nausea and no vomiting, yes!!! I did keep my feet and hands elevated for 2 days and I wore the ice mitts. I have had a bit of tingling but nothing else. I'm not sure if it helped but it is worth a try to prevent neuropathy.
My hemoglobin is down and I need to get it up or else another injection so I have been eating red meat every day. Wednesday I will find out if I have been able to maintain or even increase my hemoglobin.
I called about the results of the MRI and the nurse told me it showed nothing, I am so thankful :)
A great big thank you to everyone for all your prayers, they are much appreciated.

God is good, all the time.
All the time, God is good.

MRI

Friday I had an MRI on my left side to see if there is actually anything wrong where the CT scanned showed something. I haven't heard anything yet which might be good! I felt so sorry for the elderly lady ahead of me. They kept asking her to hold her breath so they could get a good image. I started trying to hold my breath as long as they were asking her and I couldn't do it (even with my asthma I should be able to). After more than 20 tries they said they would have to go with what they had. So they wheel the woman out and guess what they do next? They reattach her oxygen!! No wonder she couldn't hold her breath!!
I am actually feeling quite good now, just in time for my new chemo tomorrow!! At least I won't go in feeling sick but coming out may be a different story. This new chemo is paclitaxel and the main side effect to be concerned about is peripheral neuropathy. So I have researched it and there is a 64% chance of getting it. So more research and I ask the doctor about it. The GGH has these ice mitts (that no patient at the hospital has ever used) to prevent circulation to the fingers which in turn should prevent drug leakage out of the very small blood vessels (capillaries) in the hands (and also feet). I am going to try it. I am also planning on coming home and not using my hands and feet very much for approx 50 hours ( 5 half-lives of the drug). This is an experiment but well worth it I feel. Some articles even state no washing dishes, no chopping etc which I am just fine with! I have done all the laundry and cleaned the house up  (something I am learning to do the day before chemo because after that it is all done hill for a few days). Friends are thankfully bringing meals and I can rest!

As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is
flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him.
   -- Psalm 18:30

4th Chemo

Yesterday I had my 4th chemo and my last dose of AC. Next time new drugs!(with possibly worse side effects).
The line went in after 2 attempts (I will now remember to never let them try my hand...it doesn't work). I felt okay, except for the headache, until late afternoon. I had to take my medication with food so C brought me water and a plain white dinner roll. One bite and instantaneous vomiting on the bed (but in a green bag). After 4 bouts I made it to the washroom to continue. A came home right in the middle of it and Q slept through it all. The dog however took advantage of the situation and scarfed down the dinner roll while I was in the washroom! Not that I wanted it.
Today I feel better and have managed to eat some toast. I did not get to enjoy the meals that were brought yesterday for us but the rest of the family tells me they were great!

On days when life is difficult and I feel overwhelmed, as I do
fairly often, it helps to remember in my prayers that all God
requires of me is to trust Him and be His friend. I find I can
do that.
     -- Bruce Larson