Done

I went for my last chemo on Friday Dec 9th and waited over 2 hours for my blood work. Unfortunately due to human error (what we aren't perfect?) my blood work did not get prioritized as having chemo that day. When the blood work finally came back it was decided I could not have chemo as my blood counts were too low. So after 14 chemos my body said enough is enough. I too have said enough is enough. Although I was disappointed not to get my last chemo, on the bright side my hair will grow back a week earlier and I will feel better a week earlier! I have already started feeling better when working out. I am so thankful that my cancer responded to the chemo and it was able to take care of the skin metastasis. So many other women I know with IBC do not respond to chemo and need to keep trying different agents. I am also thankful that this chemo allowed me to continue working and living as "normal" a life as possible. Praise be to God.

A man leaves all kinds of footprints when he walks through life.
Some you can see...others are invisible, like the prints he 
leaves across other people's lives.
Margaret Lee Runbeck

So far so good

I have now had 11 chemos and the side effects are adding up. I have good days and bad days, just never know what kind of day it is going to be. But the bad days aren't really bad just achy hands but manageable with acetaminophen alone. The day after my last chemo I slept 5 hours then up for 2 hours then to bed for 12 hours. But the sleep is good and the next day I was up at 5:30 am (time change) and made some banana bread for Ashton and strawberry and chocolate scones for David. Then we were off to watch Ashton run her first half marathon! 1:43:50 chip time and we are all so happy for her.
Enjoying every moment. My beloved bringing me breakfast in bed is one of the sweet joys of life. Watching the leaves change colour is another. So many things to be thankful for.

I learned that life is not just a destination but a journey.
While the expedition can be long and arduous, it can be full of
beauty and pleasure as well.

     -- Wayne Holmes

3 Rounds Done

I have finished 3 rounds of chemo (9 chemos in all) and I feel like I have run a marathon. At first the chemo was fine but its cumulative effects are starting to wear on me. The tingling in the fingers and feet are coming, more off than on though. I am trying hard to fight off all the colds customers bring me. But I am not complaining. Life is good. I am thankful for the warm shower in the morning, the sun rise and all the new day has to bring me. I am thankful for each day I have here to share with family and friends. Thank you Jesus.

More chemo

Well I have decided against surgery for many reasons and I now have a new oncologist who is caring and knowledgeable!! Something I didn't have before. The idea of surgery was really just a stab in the dark. It would be major surgery and a skin graft was not an option. You cannot put skin on bone you need muscle. So the plastic surgeon would take my abdominal muscles and pull them up and maybe take some pectoral muscle too. It didn't sound very exciting to me but the main reason I decided against it was because there was no guarantee of clear margins. My rash thankfully has responded to the chemo so we would be cutting out a piece of skin with no idea how far or big to cut. No thanks. So we are left with chemo. The oncologist has decided I will have 5 to 6 rounds of chemo. Each round consists of once weekly chemo for 3 weeks then off 1 week. I have had 2 rounds of chemo so far. 5 rounds will take me to Christmas. My hair is falling out and I will probably spend another winter bald but it could certainly be worse. I feel fine except for some tiredness caused by the chemo. My scans were clear meaning I have no metastasis which I am thankful for. We are just going to take a wait and see approach. When (unfortunately they are not saying if) it returns we will deal with it. I am still working because I have such great co-workers who make coming to work a enjoyable. They even did the Run for the Cure on Sunday with me.

If I didn't have spiritual faith, I would be a pessimist. But
I'm an optimist. I've read the last page in the Bible. It's all
going to turn out all right.
     -- Billy Graham

Treatment

I just realized the last entry was in draft so today you will see 2 entries. I have had 3 treatments of weekly chemo and the cancer rash seems to be responding. It is getting smaller, thank you Lord. The chemo this time around is similar to last time but now it is nanoparticle, albumin-bound paclitaxel which has less side effects but costs 10x the price of plain paclitaxel. You can't have it unless you have had the other first and have had side effects. Thankfully I can still work with this one.
The kids are all leaving next week for school which is causing anxiety on my part. I can't believe they will all be gone. I know they will be in God's hand and thankfully not too far away.Thank you everyone for your prayers during this time.

 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him
Romans 15:13

It's Back

Sorry for not writing on here for a long time. I have been busy living :)
I know when I read other people's blogs and they stop writing I often wonder if they have died. Well I haven't died yet but this inflammatory breast cancer is trying to kill me!
A few days short of a year and my cancer is back, in the same place, in the same way. This time they have no idea what to do. I saw a surgeon today but we are thinking chemo would be better because this time we could actually see if it works. Last time I had surgery first and therefore we never knew if the chemo was the right one because there was no way to monitor a response. All my IBC sisters in the States say surgery is not the correct treatment and I should have chemo. Since I have already had the first line chemo we have numerous options. How I wish I could get a good oncologist's opinion like the doctors who work at the 2 IBC sites in the U.S. but that really isn't an option. The best in Ontario just got back from holidays and will look at my reports tomorrow and hopefully get back to me soon. The other oncologist is on holidays, just like last year when I couldn't get anyone to help me sooner. Dr. T from Sunnybrook will know the best treatment but a second opinion would be nice.
On Friday I go for a bone scan and a CT scan just to make sure it hasn't metastasized. I really don't think it has because I feel fine except for the mental strain this is putting on me. I plan on continuing to work and living life the best I can. I really think quality is better than quantity even if the oncologist today said that surgery would buy me more time!

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

2 Corinthians 4:18

Gene Testing & Follow Up

I have tested negative for BRCA1 and BRCA2 gene mutation. This means I do not have this genetic mutation and therefore I have not passed this down to our children. I am very thankful for this! I may still have a mutation in another cancer predisposing gene that has not yet been discovered but for now this is all we know.
Today I had my follow-up with my oncologist. I did not like walking back into the Cancer Center but at least I wasn't there for more treatment. When you walk into the waiting room everyone looks at you and then you at them. Today I was once again the youngest (or at least I'm pretty sure I was). My oncologist's nurse said she liked my short hair and that is suited me :)  Good thing because I don't have a choice!!
My follow up is going to consist of a yearly mammogram and MRI staggered 6 months apart and quarterly doctor's appointments. I was surprised  with this as from what I have heard most women do not get offered MRIs but fortunately my oncologist worked with inflammatory breast cancer during her residency and knows how aggressive it is. The lastest article written March 21, 2011 states that the median overall survival has significantly improved from approximately 15 months to 40 months; studies document that approximately 28% of women with IBC are alive and free of disease at 15 years. 
http://www.cancernetwork.com/breast-cancer/content/article/10165/1822129?pageNumber=1
Lord willing I do pray that I will be in the 28% group alive in 15 years but I know that if I am not I will be heaven praising Jesus. So either way I win!!

Happiness depends on happenings, but joy depends on Christ.
     -- Life Application Bible

All Done!!!

Yeh, I am officially done treating this inflammatory breast cancer!!!! I had my last radiation treatment on Thursday but this almost didn't happen. I saw the radiologist on Wednesday and after he looked at my burning skin he said we should probably stop. I didn't say anything but was thinking NO I will have my last treatment no matter what! Well he opened up my chart and either the diagnosis or the prognosis changed his mind because then he said we better finish the treatment plan and have the last radiation. He said to call him if I blister as I would need some Flamazine. So far no blistering but very itchy. Interesting to know that the nadir (or worst possible side effects) occurs 7-10 days after treatment is finished..meaning you keep burning for awhile!!
Now what? That's what I want to know. I have some follow up appointments and I will have to find out how they monitor me. From what I understand the follow up monitoring isn't the best in Canada but I will find out.
Some of the wonderful women at work took me out for a celebratory finished treatment dinner. Thank you!
Thank you to everyone for all your prayers, support, meals and love you have shown us during this difficult time. I will always remember you.

But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. 
They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary,they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:31

4 More to Go!

I have only 4 more radiation treatments to go!! And as you can guess I am very excited to be done. It has been time consuming driving to Kitchener every day and the schedule kept changing (but I managed to get that straightened out).

I have a "sunburn" that gets worse with each treatment but the doctor said as long as the area doesn't turn gray I will be able to finish all the treatments..yeh!
I have been working more and some customers even tell me how much they like my new haircut! A few people don't even recognize me. Wait till I show up without the wig and all my gray hair! Yes my hair is growing back but unfortunately it is mostly gray but at least I do have hair and my eyebrows are back too.
I am starting to run again but it is going to be a long process...I have no cardio endurance.

What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit
his very soul?

   -- Mark 8:36

Radiation

I had my first radiation treatment today. It doesn't take long but they x-ray you the first time and every week thereafter. At first I thought that's alot of radiation from the x-rays but then I realized that radiation is what I am going for. A little bit more isn't going to make any difference!
The woman organizing my appointments called me first to see if I wanted a 7:45 am or 5 pm appointment. For those of you who know me can guess I passed on the 7:45 am!!! Fortunately she said the schedule would open up so I can go a bit earlier than 5pm.
One interesting thing was the woman puts a wrist bracelet on me and I ask if I get a new one each time. She says  no you need to wear it all the time. What??? Then she explains that you can cut if off but you need to bring it with you each time or wait and get a new one. Well I must admit this is more environmentally friendly then getting a new one each time as I did at the GGH.
I am trying to work a few short shifts (5 hours) and it is working out well. Several well meaning customers have told me how much they like my new haircut, not knowing that it is a wig. I am looking forward to getting this phase over with.



“Joy is the experience of knowing that you are unconditionally loved and that nothing--sickness, failure, emotional distress, oppression, war, or even death--can take that love away.”


Henri Nouwen