Only 2 chemo left!!

So today I am "normal". Normal in the sense that I have not had chemo for 13 days and I have not had to inject myself today and I feel better. Not "normal" in the sense that I can't just go out and run but I can function pretty well. The feet and hands are starting to feel the cumulative effects of the paclitaxel, so much for the ice mitts and elevation.. but I will keep trying them! All my hair has not fallen out and I still have most of my eyebrows and eyelashes and I plan on keeping it that way. Funny thing with this chemo, you're not scheduled for your next round until you feel almost better. Good thing because I would not go back feeling how I do after it, never. But by the time the next round comes your mind tricks you into thinking it wasn't that bad (yes your mind does play mind games and it is a good thing!). I have been counting down since the beginning so after tomorrow I will only have 1 left, I can hardly wait!

If God were small enough to be understood, He would not be big
enough to be worshiped.
     -- Evelyn Underhill

New Chemo

So I had the new chemo (paclitaxel) almost 2 weeks ago. This one is much better with the side effects. Almost no nausea and no vomiting, yes!!! I did keep my feet and hands elevated for 2 days and I wore the ice mitts. I have had a bit of tingling but nothing else. I'm not sure if it helped but it is worth a try to prevent neuropathy.
My hemoglobin is down and I need to get it up or else another injection so I have been eating red meat every day. Wednesday I will find out if I have been able to maintain or even increase my hemoglobin.
I called about the results of the MRI and the nurse told me it showed nothing, I am so thankful :)
A great big thank you to everyone for all your prayers, they are much appreciated.

God is good, all the time.
All the time, God is good.

MRI

Friday I had an MRI on my left side to see if there is actually anything wrong where the CT scanned showed something. I haven't heard anything yet which might be good! I felt so sorry for the elderly lady ahead of me. They kept asking her to hold her breath so they could get a good image. I started trying to hold my breath as long as they were asking her and I couldn't do it (even with my asthma I should be able to). After more than 20 tries they said they would have to go with what they had. So they wheel the woman out and guess what they do next? They reattach her oxygen!! No wonder she couldn't hold her breath!!
I am actually feeling quite good now, just in time for my new chemo tomorrow!! At least I won't go in feeling sick but coming out may be a different story. This new chemo is paclitaxel and the main side effect to be concerned about is peripheral neuropathy. So I have researched it and there is a 64% chance of getting it. So more research and I ask the doctor about it. The GGH has these ice mitts (that no patient at the hospital has ever used) to prevent circulation to the fingers which in turn should prevent drug leakage out of the very small blood vessels (capillaries) in the hands (and also feet). I am going to try it. I am also planning on coming home and not using my hands and feet very much for approx 50 hours ( 5 half-lives of the drug). This is an experiment but well worth it I feel. Some articles even state no washing dishes, no chopping etc which I am just fine with! I have done all the laundry and cleaned the house up  (something I am learning to do the day before chemo because after that it is all done hill for a few days). Friends are thankfully bringing meals and I can rest!

As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is
flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him.
   -- Psalm 18:30

4th Chemo

Yesterday I had my 4th chemo and my last dose of AC. Next time new drugs!(with possibly worse side effects).
The line went in after 2 attempts (I will now remember to never let them try my hand...it doesn't work). I felt okay, except for the headache, until late afternoon. I had to take my medication with food so C brought me water and a plain white dinner roll. One bite and instantaneous vomiting on the bed (but in a green bag). After 4 bouts I made it to the washroom to continue. A came home right in the middle of it and Q slept through it all. The dog however took advantage of the situation and scarfed down the dinner roll while I was in the washroom! Not that I wanted it.
Today I feel better and have managed to eat some toast. I did not get to enjoy the meals that were brought yesterday for us but the rest of the family tells me they were great!

On days when life is difficult and I feel overwhelmed, as I do
fairly often, it helps to remember in my prayers that all God
requires of me is to trust Him and be His friend. I find I can
do that.
     -- Bruce Larson

Third Round

So the third round of chemo knocked me out for a bit. I basically just slept and avoided food for awhile. I am now almost back to normal (only a 2 hour nap today!) and ready for number 4 on Wednesday. I'm still not that fond of food but I am sure that will change when this is all over.
I managed to learn more about inflammatory breast cancer (IBC) from a fellow survivor's posted video on facebook. Believe it or not but this cancer only takes a few weeks to develop and is very aggressive. So basically I was probably cancer free 3 months ago. Amazing how things change so quickly. I am fortunate in that I was detected early enough to be Stage 3b. I will fight the good fight.

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Galatians 2:20

Falling Leaves

I just want to say a great big thank you to all of you who came out today to support me. The sea of purple was amazing. We truly have great friends. Thanks to John and Joan for organizing the "purple" and all the Guelph runners for the meals and support. You all incredibly kind and thoughtful people. Thanks also to my co-workers from Kitchener who surprised me and ran and cheered.

A cheerful heart is good medicine.
Proverbs 17:22

Sunnybrook

Today I drove myself to Sunnybrook to get a second opinion and to make sure from now on I get the proper treatment (mastectomy first was not the correct treatment). While my 10 am appointment finished at 1 pm with long waits I am very glad I went. First of all I am glad to be receiving treatment in Guelph...much more personalized and no traffic to contend with!! Second of all the appointment afforded me 2 new opportunities and keeps me in the loop for further trials with triple negative cancer. I am going to be able to be in a study a Women's College Hospital with BRCA gene testing for triple negative. Currently I do not qualify for this test in Ontario because I have no relatives with breast or ovarian cancer. The test is close to $4000 but now I get it free. There is currently a 10% chance of being positive for it with triple negative. I am praying I will be one of the 90% who are negative for the sake of our daughters.
The oncologist is also suggesting an MRI of the non-cancer side because the CT scan showed something in the lymph node and it is still enlarged. This was not previously offered to me and I was told the ultrasound showed nothing but  no one could explain why.
Sunnybrook is going to be keeping me in the loop for further trials on triple negative which I am happy about!

Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always

Psalm 105:4